Inside a Mom’s Head … While She’s Running on the Treadmill

Stretch. That wasn’t long enough, hold that stretch longer. I don’t want to do this. Breathe. Is the playlist going? I need some N’Sync in my life. No, not that one, skip the ballads. I need to stretch more.

 Note to self: stretch longer after the run.

90s boy bands, that will work. Motivating, right? Inhaler. Oh man, I’m such an old lady. Turn on the fan and make sure it’s pointed at me. I don’t want to do this.

Ok deep breath and go. Warm up walk has me all “I can do this”, I am a power walker taking on the world. Go ME! I could even up this walk pace. Yeah, do it! Ok my quarter mile warm up walk is up … it’s go time. Ugh, but I don’t want to do this.

Sweet Jesus, this is hard. This pace can’t be right. Check the pace … yeah this is my standard. Good heavens. My legs feel like lead weights. I need to lose weight. Would that make this easier? Deep breathing. Work inhaler, work. Too early for a water break. I don’t want to do this. Why are boy band songs like all exactly a quarter mile? Cover the treadmill screen, I don’t need to be reminded of how slow I’m going and how much I hate this.

Child comes down to ask me a question. GO AWAY. No, you cannot have that Cherry Coke.   Huff. Puff. Yes eat the candy, I don’t care just leave me alone.

Song ended. Check distance. THAT WAS THE LONGEST QUARTER MILE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. I can’t do this, I don’t want to. Yes I can. I can make it to a mile. One mile. Short run today. I shouldn’t have eaten lunch before this. I should get up at 5:30 to do this. No I shouldn’t. I would hate the world.

Meme Running

Song ended. ONLY ANOTHER ONE THIRD MILE DOWN. Oh my word. My legs *might* be feeling slightly lighter. Breathe. Why is the first half mile so haaarrrrdddd???? My pace seems to be evening out. Breathe. Breathe. This song is dumb. SKIP.

Two more songs. Pace is better. Less than a quarter mile left. I feel good, lighter, athletic even. Ok add a quarter mile. Ok add another half mile. Breathe. Breathe. Mind wanders. And wanders. I should watch the news. I should ride a bike. I should read more. I should set up Netflix to watch while I run. I should get another Alexa for down here. This basement is a disaster, my kids need to clean it up. Who am I kidding, it will be me! Stare at the curtains, memorize the pattern.

Why are my elbows so sweaty??? Thank heavens for this fan.  More boy bands. That was a good choice.

One more quarter mile and my run will be 2 miles. TWO MILES! That is so far. I’m amazing. I can do it. I can up my pace this last little bit. Nobody tells you that the advantage to a faster pace is being done sooner.

Aaannnnndddddd …. DONE! Cool down quarter mile. I’m so awesome. I probably burned 800 calories. I can eat whatever I want. I need that Cherry Coke that the kid had. I need a huge meal. I need chocolate and a giant water. With lemon. I need a cleanse, a burger, a diet, and some ice cream. I need a protein shake!


 (Record stats, look at calendar for next chance to get in another run.)


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